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You know those days were theres just so much going on you don't have a second to slow down. A moment to catch your breath. An hour to relapse and refocus. Today was one of those days. I was back in a full day of school for the first time this week and could barely focus. Not many people know this about me but I recently got tested for ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) which is when you have a really hard time focusing or paying attention. I found out I have a mild form. Knowing this doesn't set me back, but only pushes me to do better. I am no different then any one else, it's just a lot harder to focus and learn. School's never been my strong point and now I just know why. However, this sadly is no excuse to slack off. Being unfocused me, all of school today I was just wishing I could be snuggled up on the couch with my dog watching "The Carrie Diaries" which happens to be my new number one new obsession. I don't usually have time to watch TV but I will make an exception. If you haven't heard of the Carrie Diaries, its a new show that just started up with Anna Sophia Rob who plays Carrie Bradshaw. Ring any bells? Yes, you have heard that name before, Carrie Bradshaw is from Sex and the City silly! This show is the prequel of it and it's literally so good. It seems to be replacing Gossip Girl in my life. As they say, "When one door closes another opens" right? As it turned out when I got home I didn't even have time to relax or watch TV. I had to finish all my homework and make up work and then burn Simply Sanders CD's with pictures on them for people and deliver them. Then I walked around Cherry Creek and ate a little, took my outfit of the day pictures, and drove home feeling absolutely exhausted and sick like the few days before. I drove home on the highway with the windows down and no music. It was nice to hear the whistling wind and silence of the street. To feel the chilly breeze on my cheeks and twinkly red break lights. It helped me calm down a little somehow... so yeah. I don't expect anyone to read everything I just wrote because I'm babbling but it's nice to get words out onto paper. I hope everyone's day was full of beauty and not as busy and bitter as mine. Good Night!
This is really inspiring. This truley made my day brighter. It made me realize that I can get through anything no matter what. I really look up to you, you have really fasenating goals, and I'm going to try and apply those to my life. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI told you The Carrie Diaries is ahhhhmazing!
DeleteHannah I totally respect your view on things, about how there are such high expectations for high schoolers and how messed up our society is. But honestly, there are SO many people just at creek who have add too, and they work hard and get good grades. Yeah, you may struggle to pay attention, but you have mild add, you can still pay attention. I know plenty of people who have add and still get really good grades. you actually have to work hard and go to school though. Nobody can not work and do well in school. it seems like you miss school all the time, so maybe thats why you don't do well. Also as far as your view on society, I agree that there are a lot of expectations, but its your choice to look at those expectations. We all go through the same things and yeah it can be hard, but you choose to make it hard. I have the same expectations on me and Im not the prettiest, smartest, or wealthiest girl, but I dont care. Ive made the choice to not pay attention to what everyone says is important. It seems like you take so much for granted. You live in Colorado, which is one of the most beautiful places in the world, you have amazing mountains to look at every day, you go to a really good school, and you have plenty of money to get by, but you still complain about it. Theres a whole lot of people who dont have those same things. So just be grateful for what you have and stop complaining about the world we live in. Yeah, it sucks a lot of the time but if you think its so bad then go out and be different. Dont look at the standards, just be happy and dont complain, trust me its not that hard if its what you really want.
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
DeleteFirst and foremost I want to say that I'm happy you are commenting and I get to her the opinions of others! At the same time I feel if you're going to judge me and contridict everything I say there isn't really room for you here. My very first blog post said "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it." I was not complaining that I have ADD. I was just expressing that school is harder for me. I even wrote that it is something that motivates me to do better, as do all the hard things in my life. I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this and thats exactly why I put it out there for people to read. To let them know, hey you're not alone in this. To say "you actually have to work hard and go to school" is honestly kind of rude because I try just as hard as any other person at Creek, probably even more then some people. I work my butt off and I don't need to prove that to any one but myself. I never said I don't do well in school, that was your assumption.
Regarding society's expectations- I hope you realize that even people who chose not to look at them still will find themselves getting caught up in it every now and then. No one is perfect and can completely shut out what the world wants from them as hard as they try. If you truly knew me, you would know I'm one of the most happy bubbly girls ever and just because I have down days and society does get to me sometimes, does not mean I don't focus on every amazing thing I have in my life. I do not take one single thing I have for granted and I am thankful for it all. There's a whole lot more to me than meets the eye. So before you tell me to be grateful for what I have and to be happy, please take the time to actually get to know me for me, instead of judging.
Hannah,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I was not at all trying to be rude so im really sorry. A lot of what I said didn't come out how I meant it, and I wasnt trying to judge you or assume things so Im sorry for that! And when i said the thing about not trying in school i was relating that to the fact that you do miss a lot of school so that makes it harder, not like you dont try at all to do well sorry because that was worded really wrong in the first comment. and as far as add goes, I have it too so thats why I said that stuff, because focusing is an issue for me, but I just see so many kids using add as an excuse to not do as well as other people (not saying you do that) because even though I space out in class all the time and dont pay attention, Ill be the first to say that I know I could try harder and do better. The reason I dont get straight As isnt because I have add its because i dont enjoy some classes and i dont get the help i need or finish all my homework. and as far as the expectations thing goes, yeah its easy to get caught up, but trust me there is also an easy was out of it. And im sure you dont mean it like this but I see a lot of what you say to contradict because you say you dont need what society says you need. for example in that video you made (which by the way was really well made and had a cool message) but you said you dont need nice clothes (which you have) you dont need the perfect friends or boyfriend (which youve posted pictures of ), and expensive things (which you also have) and i know its my choice to look at those things but they are right there. You say the right things to make an impact, but could you really live without all those things. could you really give up your iphone, laptop, nice clothes, plane tickets to hawaii? its so easy for people to see everything so black and white. to say the right things, but things are said to just try to stand out, but does your life truly and honestly reflect the things you say? because from the outside it seems like you are trying really hard to make everyone happy, and make everyone like you. Once again, dont mean this rudely at all!!!! I have nothing against you as a person and I honestly think you have a heart of gold. I just want you to get another perspective because everyone gets sucked into a black and white world where we think were saying the right things, and i know i do it a lot too, so im just trying to help you see outside the box you live in, because sometimes i need that too.
Thank you so much for coming back to clarify what you meant. I do genuinely appreciate it:) Its really hard because over the internet you can't hear peoples tone and sometimes people get the wrong impression.
DeleteWith school, every one handles pressure differently you know? For me, getting some fresh air and taking a step back or having some time to rest is how I collect my thoughts. I know how you feel though when you say that its not add that holds you back because its no excuse. I'm no interested in school at all, haha clearly, but I still try really hard and always go in for help. I've learned from personal experience and it sounds like you have too which I think is really cool.
I agree with you, the video I made is an example of me being hypocritical and I realized this when I made it and posted it any way. I know I am a victim of doing all the things I said just as much as you are. But did you ever think that I made that video not just for other people, but for myself as well? I know that I said the most important things in life are not things even though I might have some. I meant what I said, and I do follow it. The things I value the most in life are not things. They're my wonderful friendships, my dog, music, the beautiful world we live in, the sunshine in the summer, and the snowflakes on my jacket in the winter. Even little things like fuzzy blankets or a cup of tea are the things that make me most happy. What your saying makes me think having opportunity, life experiences and parents who work hard is wrong. There is nothing wrong with having nice things and being fortunate. Its funny because I'm not even that "well off" or how ever you're perceiving me to be. There will always be people with less, and there will always be people with more. Regarding my "nice clothes, iphone, and plane tickets to hawaii" I buy mostly all my clothes myself with my earned money, as well as my phone and my plane tickets. Things in my life aren't just handed to me believe it or not. My parents and myself work really hard and I think that is a wonderful. Better than all the rest of it, my parents are showing me how to work for something if I want it. I know that I have clothes and take pictures and like fashion but thats because that is part of me! It's what I'm interested in and I wouldn't ever change that because its a form of art. I wouldn't be the same with out it. Its who I am and I embrace it! With out Hawaii I wouldn't have such amazing relationships there or have seen a different side of life that I never knew until I was out there. My last summer shaped me into the girl you're talking to. I learned so much about myself and life. So sure, I have nice things and oppurtunity but this is the path I am suppose to be on. In the end (I say this with a loving full heart and not to be mean) what do I need to prove to you? I just mean that what I have and how I have earned it are not your concern. I am happy with my morals and content with my life, and if I am then I don't need to prove it to anyone. We all have opinions and I see your perspective and trust me, but if I am trying to prove you wrong or you're trying to convince me to see more than black and white we both are falling exactly into this society we live in. Were so wrapped up in what we think of each other. Instead we just gotta embrace our individuality & live it up to its fullest potential. Maybe thats what we both needed this conversation to realize, that all the difficult things, and the material things are a part of life but they don't define us. In the end that, is a beautiful thing:) ahh This conversation is so amazing, deep and genuine. I seriously wish I knew who this was. Please if you feel like it tell me who you are! I would love to get to know you beyond this Much Love, Hannah
Hannah
ReplyDeleteI think that comment really showed what youre really like more than any other thing youve posted. I think its really easy to have misconceptions on the internet because its hard to really show your full personality and all. and i never meant to offend you with anything i said because i honestly have nothing against you and I think youre a really cool person. I just read your blog and i guess I didnt see everything how you meant it and i dont know it really bothers me when people are hypocritical but i can see now that obviously that was never what you meant. i think ive learned a lot about not reading too much into things on the internet because things that you post can be so distorted from what you really meant, so im glad this could benefit us both! and also i think its really awesome that you did admit that some of the things youve said did seem hypocritical because there are so many people who wouldnt do that. so im sorry about my first comment because i didnt really realize that i was rude at the time i was just kind of annoyed because i misunderstood a lot.. so thanks so much for replying it was really cool for me to hear what you said, and also i still think its so cool that you are willing to put yourself out there on the internet and put out your beliefs and opinions! i think you deserve a lot of respect and yeah haha maybe we can get to know each other!
This website is a bit confusing? How did you get your blog to look like this?
ReplyDelete